I'm on the phone with you and all I can think about is to imagine what would be like to be with you right now. I can vividly imagine all the moments we had together.. the laughs, the cries, the embarrassing moments, the arguments, and everything else that comes with it. I was determined to live life for you, to be with you. I was determined to go through it all, even if it took my soul. I don't think you can imagine how much I love you because you're too busy loving somebody else. I wish I could do something, but I know that I can't. I guess that's what hurts the most, because even though letting go hurts, just knowing that I can't change your love for me, hurts even more. Hearing your voice, hearing you sing.. I'm deeply in love and I'm still scared to admit it. I'm trying to heal.. I wanted you as far away as possible for now, but that wouldn't cure me. Being away from you wouldn't make things any easier. I guess I just got used to having you around.
Today was kind of hard... I wanted that kiss as much as you, but I couldn't, that wouldn't help me at all. It would just make it harder to let go...But when we hugged, I felt peaceful, like I can be with you without suffering..It's just that I didn't want it to be our last kiss, not that way, not today, rushed up or w.e. because I cherish the last time we were together. It wasn't the best moment, but it was surely a perfect moment. If you stop to think about it, we shared everything we could in those last minutes together.. I cried on your shoulder, we hugged, we touched each other's face, we stared at each other, our fingers locked, we made promises, and we kissed... and once again the silent wasn't awkward at all.. everything just felt natural. And I guess that's the image that I want to have every time I think of our last kiss, because it was special for both of us, I'm sure..
Anyways, I love when you talk to yourself out loud,even though you don't admit it. I love all the things you say, all the things you do. I would make you so happy, I wish you knew.
My throat is dry, I can't go through a day without thinking about you at least once.. well, at least not for now. But I don't regret anything, I'm glad it happened. After all, we just became closer and now I can say your my bestfriend. Thank you for still being around, for not giving up on us, at least not as friends.. I have a good feeling about it this time.. I hope you do too.. then we can finally say that "this could be something.."
All good things come to an end.......
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